Star Date #32

The girl: So I could also jump tonight if I wanted to?

Other me: Of course you could, and I bet you’d be great.

The girl: Oh stop it you flirt.

Other me: Make me.

Me: Why don’t I make you, get up.

The girl: Hey, you’re back.

Me: I am. And sadly, I want to prove my masculinity to you. Actually, more to me but fuck it, it’s because of you.

The girl: I understand.

Me, to other me: So let’s jump, together, winner gets the girl.

Other me: I don’t think that’s how it works.

Me: I know it doesn’t but I can’t stand this anymore. She likes me, I know, Chief told me. But she also likes you, and you’re me. So the only way I can feel good about her choosing you is if you beat me.

Other me: How do you know she’s going to choose me?

Me: Look at you!

Other me: I see what you mean.

The girl: Boys, please. You don’t have to do this.

Us: We know we don’t.

Chief: What’s going on?